Alice (part II)

“Set me adrift and I’m lost over there”
=====Russell should have known from the slight hesitation in Alice’s phone message, the stop-and-go rhythm of awkwardness a dead giveaway. But he didn’t realize until he saw the look in her eyes right before she said it to him when they met.
=====“I don’t think it’s working out between us.”
=====He only heard scattered fragments of the rest of what she said—it’s not anything he did…he’s a good guy…still be friends, etc.
=====“I’m really sorry Russell…” Alice said, and Russell could tell from the look in her eyes when she briefly met his gaze before dropping them back to the ground that she meant it too.
=====He couldn’t remember what he said to her before he left. Not even a trace of any of it was left in his mind. All he remembered was the drive back home: blasting excessively loud music not to drown out his thoughts, but to fill the empty cavity inside his head with the vibrations—with anything.

“And I must be insane/To go skating on your name”
=====“You just have to let it go man,” Jeremy said before exhaling a cloud of smoke. “It’s the only thing you can do. It sucks, but that’s all there is to it.”
=====“It’s only been two days,” Russell muttered, taking the bong from him.
=====“The sooner you get over it the easier it’ll be.”
=====“Easier said then done,” Russell picked the lighter up from the ground.
=====“I hear you,” Jeremy settled onto the carpet, propping himself up with his elbows. “Nothing else I can tell you though. No short-cuts for this shit.”
=====Russell inhaled deeply, removing the slide and sucking in every last particle of smoke as he cleared the chamber. He held it in steady for a few seconds, and then relaxed his diaphragm, the smoke lazily snaking out from his barely opened lips.
=====“I’m really sorry though man,” Jeremy said.
=====“Thanks,” Russell replied flatly.
=====They remained silent, staring off into their respective spaces.
=====“I need to do something,” Russell said, breaking the stasis.
=====“Wanna watch something?” Jeremy asked, starting to move towards the cabinet with various DVD’s by the television.
=====“No, I mean like something different. I don’t want to just sit here.”
=====“Like what? It’s two in the morning, there isn’t shit to do.”
=====Russell paused, musing on what to do. “Let’s go to the lake.”
=====“The lake?” Jeremy asked skeptically.
=====“Yeah.”
=====“It’s cold as fuck out.”
=====“So what?”
=====Jeremy took a slow breath, in and out. “I guess we could.”
=====“Let’s go then.”
=====“I don’t think I’m up for driving honestly.”
=====“I’ll drive.”
=====Jeremy eyed Russell up and down slowly, inspecting his condition. “Are you sure you’re okay to?”
=====“A hundred percent.”
=====“Alright.”
=====Russell slowly opened to the door to the hallway, then eased it shut behind them. Jeremy opened his mouth to speak, but Russell shushed him as a reminder. “Don’t wake my parents up,” he whispered, Jeremy nodding in response and dropping whatever it was he was going to say.
=====They crept through the hallway and out the front door. Jeremy was right: it was cold as fuck. They rushed to the car, and both let out relieved sighs when Russell started the car and the heat kicked in.
=====A few minutes later found them gliding down the highway towards the lake. Jeremy was beating his hands on the dashboard, pounding in synch with the drums to the first song on Remain in Light. Russell’s eyes were stapled to the road, staring ahead vacantly, the knuckles on his hands white from his death-grip on the steering wheel.